blackholesunshower

Dear Chris,

I’m watching your video, The Promise. It’s your final song given to the world. Recently, a fan on a Facebook site dedicated to all things Soundgarden, criticized this piece of artistry. He called the song “bland” and then said something like it saddened him that you left the world with this song.

I fired back saying “We don’t know if that was Chris’s final song… and so what if it was? It is just heartbreaking to know that it’s over. That it’s done. We don’t know what he was working on. SG had been together rehearsing and whatnot… so who knows. IDK… this post… just makes me sad. Any song Chris left us with I will treasure always. I think it’s a beautiful song.”

I watch that video and one of the first things I notice is your eyes. I see such pain…. and emptiness.  You seem dazed and lost.  Where artistry and passion once resided, I now see a hollow search for peace. I hope you have found it, my friend.

Your death will never make sense to me, nor to many, many other people. Chris, when I think of you, and I think of you every day, I hope that your soul is at peace. I think of your children and wish I could reach out to them somehow. I wish I could talk to you one more time. I wish I could go back to MSG and tell you AGAIN how much your voice means to me and the world. I wish with all my heart – as many do – that I could have saved you. In hindsight I would have told you – it’s ok. Take a break. Go to your happy place. Save yourself. I would show you how to live, if I could. I would say, let the seasons roll on by and us fans will still be there to pick the crowd up. As much as I worshipped you, your voice and music, I would have waited forever to have you live one more day.

Until next time,

Emily