I think of you everyday, Chris. Every Every DAY. Today was no different. Today we experienced an eclipse of the sun. Of course this had all us fans thinking of your song titles – Black Hole Sun, Shadow of the Sun, Scar on the Sky, Moonchild, Worried Moon. I could go on. People posted awesome eclipse photos with your face inside the blacked out sun.
In my part of the world, we experienced a partial eclipse, which meant it was still pretty bright outside, but for awhile things got kind of strange. I looked at it through a cereal box, pinhole. The sun looked like a horizontal crescent moon. I’m pretty sure Seattle had WAY more total eclipse action.
Then I looked at it through the special eclipse glasses – like the 3D ones you get at the movies. Then the sun looked like the MOON. Wow. The sun was an orange crescent moon, like the two celestial bodies had traded places. The world was upside down! Like the moment I found out you were no longer here.
I’d like to think that you are still here in some way. Yes, your voice and songs reside within us in digital or analog form. I can “pop” you into the CD player or hit up YouTube to see you when I like, but it will NEVER be the same as seeing and hearing you live. Chris, I miss you so much.
One day I will make peace with your passing, but now, just three months in, it is just so hard. You mean so much to me and to so many others. I am so grateful I got the chance to meet you. IF I could go back, I would tell you how incredible your fans are. I know you already knew… but I’d tell you how much we’ve all come together in your loss. How we’ve all grown somehow closer. I’ve met and gotten to know even MORE people. I’ve discovered MORE of you since you left. Even as a fan of 25+ years, I am still discovering and it.is.awesome! Next month I will take part in a charity walk for suicide prevention in YOUR honor. Losing you has been so difficult. There is lots of speculation as to WHY you did what you did. It’s not my place to theorize. I just miss you and pray that you are at PEACE. That you are not in pain anymore.
Black Hole Sun. Won’t you come and wash away the pain?
Loud Love, Chris.
blackholesunshower 
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